EMMETT KELLY ON WISHING: "It is all right to wish - but don't forget it will not do any good unless it is accompanied [by] a 'lot of hard work and planning."
I recently worked with a group of clowning professionals. And one of the exercises we engaged in included 40 feet of white satin piled on the stage. We were asked to create a moment in silence by experiencing the satin through the senses - a task every clowning performer understands is critical and essential in communicating with their audience authentically (through the body and in silence).
The satin materialized itself to me as my dad's pajamas, a wedding gown, and a swaddling blanket for a baby. I was lost in the reverie of my imagination and creativity, yet aware that I was performing/storytelling for others. It fascinated me that the others articulated what they witnessed as exactly what was intended. They understood it at its deepest level - that there was a loss and love; & that the tapestry of my existence and essence were seen. I was raw and naked on the stage inside of those moments. It's the only way I know how (and choose) to perform.
The experience with those performers reminded me how hard I've worked throughout my life to hone these skills. It is an art form, and it must be practiced (religiously) just like any other skill or talent. You can't wish it to be so; it must be sculpted and crafted. It's messy and frustrating. It's beautiful. It's painful and delightful. It's slow in its evolution. It's like love, friendships, and the self - ever-evolving. I don't WISH for these experiences; I've worked and planned for them at every step of my life journey.
Wishing for love and partnership is NOT a plan. It's like NOT showing up for the audition and expecting to get the part - something I often do, and I am sure that Innovative Talent, who represents me, is curious to know why I do this.
So, as a planning freak and a compulsive list maker, I am investigating ways to plan the work necessary to find love and then work on my love life plan. One thing I have already planned is a beautiful dress I'll wear on this future date, accompanied by Converse running sneakers. I will truthfully and simply explain my shoe choice selection as "a way to run from you in case you're a killer" and then I'll coquettishly order the pan de quotidien.
Here's what I'll add to my personal profile:
21. I LOVE EMMETT KELLY & CHARLIE CHAPLIN
22. I LOVE TO PERFORM & WRITE
23. I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO RIDE A UNICYCLE
24. I WANT TO GO TO CROATIA
25. I LOVE TO BINGE WATCH CRIME SHOWS
26. I LOVE TO TEACH CLOWNING
27. I LOVE COLORED PENCILS, PENS, AND CRAYPAS
28. I LOVE TO MAKE LISTS & ORGANIZE ON A DAILY BASIS
29. I LOVE TO CHECK OFF EVERYTHING ON MY DAILY TO DO LIST AS A VISUAL TO REMIND ME THAT I EARNED MY DAILY BREAD AND DOLLAR.
30. I LOVE CHUCK TAYLOR CONVERSE SHORELINE SLIP ON SNEAKERS (IN WHITE IS THE BEST.
