As I listened to NPR on my drive to work this morning, I was moved by Steve Inskeeps interview with Tommy Prines about his new album, "THIS FAR SOUTH." Prines is the son of the late singer/songwriter John Prines. Tommy talked about his joy with his dad when he toured with him; his gratitude for the experiences, lessons, and love that filled their lives as father & son. How he spoke about HIS father reminded me of the experiences, lessons, and love that filled a HUGE part of MY life as the daughter of a father who exhibited dignity and grace at all costs. I learned much from my father's silence and "lake-like" stillness. He said many healing and supportive things to me, but one particular sentence spoken the night before he died, that I will NEVER forget, and that which guides me toward finding REAL love in my life, was this....read EPISODE #2 to find out.
On the last night, my Dad was on this earth, we took a late-night ride in Bella (my VW Bug) and went BEACH HOPPING. We stopped at Cumberland Farms in Wellfleet and bought coffee and cinnamon rolls for the ride (even though my Dad did not drink or eat anything at all that day, which was not usual and was worrisome). For some reason, I was compelled to talk to my father about my love life, which we NEVER discussed. I told him about an experience I had at the beach in late July that left me feeling REALLY upset, an experience I wanted my father's opinion on. I explained to him that I was on one of my epic beach bike rides and that when I had arrived at Nauset Light Beach I was about to cycle down a pathway that was not only dangerous but forbidden. BIG signs. I noticed that a very handsome man on a racing bicycle was watching me attempt this feat, and stopped me in my tracks by shouting out, "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! (and then quietly added), 'cuz it's dangerous.' The Path to exit onto the beach area is over there." I descended the appropriate path and set up my square of beach heaven to do some stretching and yoga. I stayed on the beach for about an hour. When I left, I decided to go to the Three Sisters LightHouses. As I steered my cruiser bike into that park area, the handsome "DO-GOODER" was behind me on his bike asking if I'd like to go for a bike ride. I did. He asked for my FB info, my contact info, and we departed after a rigorous 10 mile trek.
An hour later, he FB'd me, asked me to contact him upon my return to NYC, and that we'd get together. Fast forward, I did. He was a DICK and actually said that I "got the wrong idea about his intentions." I reminded him that he had NO IDEA about MINE and I ended the call.
When I reiterated the story to my dad, he shook his head and was visibly upset by what I had shared with him. I began to cry. Not because of the experience, but because my Dad looked at me as we sat at the beach that night and said, "Hope, no more crumbs. You deserve better than that, and I want you to promise me that you won't take crumbs." I promised him. And I'm keeping my promise.
As I continue my search for A PARTNER & love, that is my mantra...NO CRUMBS!
WHAT I WOULD ADD TO MY TRUTH-BE-TOLD-ABOUT-HOPE dating site information list from EPISODE #2 is as follows:
11. I LOVE NPR
12. I LOVED MY FATHER DEEPLY
13. I AM A VW BUG OWNER & LOVER (I can tell you differences between a '65 & a '66 bug).
15. I LOVE CAPE COD
16. I LOVE COFFEE
17. I LOVE LATE NIGHT DRIVES TO THE BEACH
18. I LOVE BIKE RIDING
19. I LOVE TO WORKOUT ON THE BEACH
20. I WILL NOT ACCEPT "CRUMBS" FROM FRIENDS OR PARTNERS.
This blogging thing is excavating simple truths....
